You've probably gathered that I am at work today. Yea, I have a real case of the Mondays. While putting my time to good use, I came across this interactive Mitchell Report steroid network thingy and decided that I had to share it with my reader(s). David Segui and Todd Hundley/Paul Lo Duca as "kingpins" don't surprise me, but Denny Neagle?
The Steroids Social Network - Slate.com
Can't Stop The Bleeding
You probably won't see a lot of content here in the next few days, so here's a story about Duke losing to tide you over. I didn't get to see the game, but I am sure Pitt had to overcome some serious 8 on 5 action in the contest at a so-called "neutral" court, Madison Square Garden. And I am sure there was plenty of flopping as well.
Merry Christmas!
While there is some debate as to whether or not games shown on the NFL Network are "Prime Time" games, I have decided to pick this game regardless. I am a compulsive gambler anyway.
Tonight Big Ben finally gets away from inclement weather and throws 4 TD's. Steelers win in a romp.
Steel City -8......all day
Reasons:
1. I like to gamble.
2. I will be playing sports trivia tonight and need something to watch.
3. I like to curse at Bryant Gumbel.
4. I like to gamble.
Rose: "Steroids Scandal Makes Me Look Like An Alter Boy"
An interesting statement by Pete Rose this morning in the wake of the Mitchell Report. Of course, it was all geared towards his argument that he should be in the Hall of Fame, which I don't think a lot of people will dispute. He makes the point that if these HGHers and 'Roiders get elected to the Hall, then he should too. It makes sense on the surface, but as Mike Greenberg pointed out on Mike and Mike in the Morning today: there's a difference between merely being mentioned in a congressional report and being banned from baseball. Sooner or later, there is going to have be a decision on the issue of how to deal with alleged rulebreakers in the Hall of Fame and record books. Bob Costas suggests that the "Steroids Era" is no different than the various other scandals that have tainted previous years (or decades) of baseball and that the record books should simply make reference to the allegations on page one, such that the reader keeps that information into consideration as he peruses the records (no asterisks!).
Sounds good to me, but I want to take the time to focus on the debate at hand. Which is worse: Rose's gambling or Bonds' juicing? The Mike and Mike boys predictably took the side of the steroid/HGH user, presumably because one of them (guess which one!?) is an admitted steroid user himself. I don't see the problem with gambling on your own team to win, except for the specter of betting against your own team that will inevitably come with it (do you really beleive Rose never bet against his team?). And because gambling on baseball has been taboo ever since the Black Sox scandal, violators like Rose get banned from the game (if they get caught). Steroid use, on the other hand, is only now beginning to carry such a stigma within baseball.
My conclusion: neither is worse than the other because they aren't comparable. One involves the appearance of impropriety and manipulation of the course of a game (i.e. the players on the field should decide the game) and one involves the actual players on the field seeking an advantage to change their performance. This is what makes the piece on Mike and Mike this morning so ridiculous. To immediately and arbitrarily say that steroid use is worse than gambling is asinine. The bottom line is that Pete Rose still isn't getting into the Hall of Fame no matter how many players used HGH or steroids or whatever. And in my opinion, having all these prominent players 'outed' in the Mitchell Report (and found guilty in the court of public opinion) only makes people more suspicious of baseball players in general, which can do nothing but harm Rose's Hall of Fame chances.
After having 4 or 5 days to think about it (not to mention getting to see someone go first: see Petitte, Andy), ESPN finally let the absurdly-goateed Fernando Vina speak on his inclusion in the Mitchell Report on SportsCenter last night. Vina calmly gave his pre-written answers as Bob Ley gently lofted softballs high into the air.
See the video here: [The Big Lead]
Among the questions not asked were:
"You say you weren't looking for an advantage, Fernando, but let me ask you: Does the human body heal/recover faster when taking HGH than when not taking HGH?"
"And if you took HGH and your body healed/recovered faster than a player not using HGH, then you would have an advantage, no?"
"What's with that goatee?"
Dicky V To Take A Few Months Off!
Now I would not wish injury upon anyone, except maybe that unnamed coach who gave up on the Atlanta Falcons, oh and maybe Tyler Hansbrough. If you have not already read the above article, don't. Basically though, it is the best news any college basketball fan has read all year (well except maybe the Mercer upset over Mayonnaise Boy, GO BEARS!).
To anyone who suffers through the most annoying broadcaster outside of Dusty Baker, I offer the above. After reading it, I can't tell whether he is dying or got fired. All I know is I can now watch "paid under the table" players without the annoyance of Dicky V. And I don't have to listen to a grown man Climax every time he talks about Duke or UNC. Makes you wonder why his throat really hurts.....
I was happy to see Carolina put a good stomping on Rutgers last night, but I cold have done without this. On another note, how about those Redskins? Playoffs? Playoffs!?!?!? Anyway, I don't care if it's nearly Tuesday. Check out Monday's links:
Christian Okoye will kick your ass. [College Game Balls]
Great recap of last week's college basketball action. [Storming The Floor]
Don't laugh too hard, Roger. The Great Benzino and I agree that you might be next. Or at least you should be. [Kissing Suzy Kolber]
If Ms. Andrews isn't working over the holidays, maybe I can catch her around town. [Awful Announcing]
Yea, Windows Vista pretty much blows. [Engagdet]
Tony Romo gets stage fright. [Still Awesome]
When you compare the SEC and the ACC, everybody wins! (Potentially NSFW)
Don't know how long this will stay on Youtube, but here's a clip from last night's The Simpsons which shows a picture montage of Homer's life. And we all know that The Simpsons (especially Homer) is guaranteed funny. Enjoy.
For those who don't already know The Great Benzino submits his picks for all (or most) Prime Time games. You will not see any Central Michigan v. Eastern Iowa games picked here. Only major games that are shown on major networks and air after 7pm.
Picks will be posted at least 1 hour before game time.
Monday Money Makers:
Bears v. Vikings 8:30 on ESPN
Pick: Bears +11
Reasons:
1. Revenge game for Bears after Vikes smoked them in previous matchup.
2. The Bears D gets even faster on turf.
3. I need Peterson to have a horrible game to advance in my FFB league.
4. Vikes are not use to PRIMETIME and will choke.....trust me.
Trying to get things started here at YARMD, and it was a rainy/lazy/boring day here at YARMD headquarters. Hence the multiple posts. But every now and then I will come across something interesting/funny on a real blog. And from now on, when I find such interesting/funny something(s), I will post it and pretend that I am cool for finding it (of course).
Anyway, this is a pretty cynical post about dating from Craigslist. And I love me some cynicism; especially about women/dating. I also love rash generalizations. So, any single twentysomething can probably relate to some aspect of this little attempt at fictional anecdotal comedy. The line about the goodnight kiss is guaranteed funny. Enjoy.
Knock knock
Oh hi, how's it going? It's me! Every girl ever. I'm really looking forward to this date. I'm not nearly as attractive as you remember me being because when we met the bar was dark and you were drunk. Come on in.
Let's start off with the unavoidable tour of my incredibly typical post-college-girl apartment.
You'll notice that I went ahead and purchased everything that Ikea and Pier 1 have ever produced. There's my decorative birdcage over there even though I don't have a bird, and there's my gay wicker basket with bamboo poles in it. I don't know what the hell that's thing's all about, but I bought it.
Hey check it out, I have more candles in here than a Roman Catholic Church. Doesn't it smell like Hazelnut!? If I were to light all of my candles at once you could see my apartment from space! I fucking love candles!
Come on into the living room.
Oh, I see you met my cat there. That's "Freddy Paws Jr." Why don't you pet him and act like you like cats even though you hate cats? There you go. Oh, he took a little swing at your eye there huh? Yeah, he'll do that. Hey, let's check out the kitchen.
Hey look at my refrigerator. There are pictures all over it! Look at all these pictures of me and my equally vacuous friends from college! We were so crazy! You can tell we're really good friends because our faces are all pressed up against each other like that.
And check it out, we're holding up alcoholic beverages to the camera in every single picture. That's to prove that we were partying. College was so fun! But of course I don't talk to any of these girls anymore because now they're all bitches.
Let's go back into the hallway!
Hey, before we leave I'm going to go in the bathroom for ten minutes for some mysterious reason. Why don't you sit awkwardly in my big, stupid, round papizan chair over there while you wait for me. It's like you're sitting in a hug! Be right back...
Sorry that took a half an hour, I don't know what the hell I was doing in there. Let's go!
Wow! Thanks for opening my car door for me! I'm totally going to blow that meaningless gesture out of proportion and delude myself into thinking that you're a really good guy because that's what I want to believe.
Well, here we are at the restaurant. No thanks waiter, I don't need to see a menu, just bring me some expensive things. Hey I know, while we wait, I'll tell you all about my unspeakably boring job. I hate my boss. He's a jerk! I might get another job. Maybe something in pharmaceutical sales.
Now let's talk about my family. I love my family. I want you to love my family. I want my family to love you. I want you to make love to my family! I want you to go golfing with my semi-retarded brother Travis. That would be so God damned cute!
Wow! I can't believe I ordered all this food! I have no intention of eating any of it. No thanks waiter, we don't need a box. Just throw it out.
Hey, I've got an idea, let's go to a bar and have an after dinner drink! It'll be great, it will be just like how we're drinking here, only it will be louder and we'll have to stand up. Come on!
See, isn't this better? Oh hey, what a coincidence. Look over there! It's a group of my friends that I knew was going to be here. Let's go over there so that they can judge you!
Hey, I have to go to the bathroom for a half an hour again for some reason. You can stay here and talk to my unbelievably hideous friend Christine! Christine's so ugly she scares kids! Talk to her! She has a job and a family that she wants to talk to you about too. Be right back.
I'm back! Sorry I was gone for three hours, there was a line. I want to go home now.
Well here we are at my door again. This was really fun for me and not you. You should pretend like we're going to do it again sometime! Maybe I'll see you at Target a few months from now and we can avoid eye contact because you never called me. Here, have this awkward goodnight kiss that's as empty as my soul. Good night!
Craigslist
Reddit
Can you believe this guy? Apologies for the crappy video quality, but check out the 0:35 mark where Bobby Petrino and family get indoctrinated into the Razorback family by humiliating themselves on stage with male cheerleaders. You've got to think that they throw in an extra $100k in the deal in order to get him to do this. Asshat.
Oh, and here's Sean Salisbury with a heartfelt speech to an unnamed Arkansas recuit. Touching.
Woops! Large-headed ESPN baseball analyst Fernando Vina got mentioned in the Mitchell Report. Steve Berthiaume takes one for the team and delivers the bad news in 10 seconds or less.
I don't have any original thoughts on this, so here's some links:
Fernando Vina's Gone Missing [Awful Announcing]
Where Were ESPN’s Steroid Users Thursday and Friday? [The Big Lead]
Oh, and let's not forget to credit CBS Sportsline for the term "Mitch Slapped". [Mister Irrelevant]
After reviewing all 400+ pages of the 2007 thesis, or the most important and nonsifting document in American sports history I have the following thoughts:
1. There are waaaay more names out there than this report contains. This report pulls names from media reports, isolated incidents whereplayers got caught, Canseco's book, Game of Shadows, and a clubhouse attendant from one high profile team.
2. The majority of these players played for the Mets or Yankees atsome point. i.e. all these names came from the one or two narc trainers.
3. There are other "club house attendants" that have more knowledge and more names than this guy that didn’t spill the beans.
4. George Mitchell did a good job and is a very smart man. But he needed more resources and more time. i.e. subpoena power.
5. Everyone knew Clemens was on the juice when he threw that bat at Piazza in the highly rated Subway Series.
6. Needles weren't the only thing Pettite and Clemens were putting in each others butts.
7. If Mike Stanton was on roids so was 90% of baseball.
8. Bonds HR record is given more validity by showing an even playing field because of the use by even the poor players; and half of them are pitchers.
9. Non-steroid era players should be given closer consideration for the HOF, i.e. Dale Murphy and Jim Rice.
10. What was the Mets clubhouse attendant doing giving the juice to opposing players?
11. Baseball players are too stupid to pull anything off. See the million dollar players who wrote checks and left a paper trail for $1,000 purchases.
12. The named players will roll on other players as they dont want to be singled out.
13. Steroids and HGH taken under the direction of a physician will not adversly effect your health. They will give you more energy, make you stonger, and younger. See the 45 year old Canseco who looks 27.
14. Juice gets you a hot wife. Then when you get off it, she leaves you. See Paul LoDuca and David Justice.
15. Players that were probably in the report but redacted by MLB totry and save the integrity of the game: Gay-rod, Jeter, Pujols and Ricky (I am the greatest) Henderson.
16. Record most directly related to steroid use: Gagne's save record.
17. Players will always be looking for an edge. At least with the lack of regulation there was an even playing field. Everyone was cheating. Not just a 1988 40/40 guy and a 120+ stolen base machine.
18. Dale Murphy would still be playing for the Braves and going after 755 this year had it not been for a roided out Dave Justice.
19. If the NFL had a similar investigation there would be no NFL.
20. Owners most defintely knew and looked the other way to rebound from the strike. Now they have to give guys like Gary Matthews Jr. $10 mil a year.
